Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
