yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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