In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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