the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
