you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize