I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
