This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
