I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
