trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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