im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
