garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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