On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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