im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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