he thought i was a dude.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
