I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
