mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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