You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
