can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
