This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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