At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
