He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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