woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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