What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
