**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
