I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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