i was born a porn star she said
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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