I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
