I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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