Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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