You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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