I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
