sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am one with the molecules
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My life is pants optional.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
