I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Randomize
