I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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