In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want to make out with him forever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
