I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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