so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
