dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
don't judge my taste in strippers
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
