i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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