I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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