and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize