If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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