You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
