Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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