what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize