let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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