I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Im part way to drunk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
