I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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