He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want to fling myself into the sun
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
