you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
