i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
