I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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