R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
