bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I need moral support for this bender
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
