belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
