the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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