Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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