sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize