Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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