Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize