And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
did i walk over a car last night?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
