When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize