I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
