at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
