My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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