I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This house was built for laser tag.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
