If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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