I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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