Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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