So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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