I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You pole danced in your parka.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
