I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
