doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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